What am I most afraid of

Fear guides so much of what we do, without us knowing it.

If you’re feeling grumpy and snappy most of the time, you’re likely stressed

Duh?

So what to do about it?

Every time I notice my chest tightening or field of vision narrowing, I ask myself

“What am I afraid of?”

• “I can’t believe I quit my job to do this, if I fail everyone will think I’m an idiot and a failure”

• “I won’t get this product launched in time and I won’t get promoted”

• “I’m going to lose this case and I will lose a client for my firm”

• "I'm never going to find a good job that makes me happy"

Then, ask yourself

“And why does that scare me?”

• “Because if I’m a failure, then no one will love me”

• “Because if this fails, I won’t have any money and I’ll be poor”

• "Because I want to be worthy of respect, to know what my purpose is"

Then, again, ask yourself

“And why does that scare me?”

• “Because I don’t want to be alone in this world with no friends!”

• “Because I don’t want to be living on the streets without a home!”

• "Because if I have no value, then what's the point of existing"

Then, ask yourself

“How likely is it that the deepest fear I’ve unearthed will really happen?

Chances are, pretty slim. If your startup/product launch/court case/job interview fails, it’s not like you lose you. You don’t lose your brain, your skillset, your network, the capital you’ve saved. The transition from where you are right now to “no one loves me” or “being on the streets” will take a pretty darn long time to manifest.

When you are aware, you can control your emotions. When you’re not aware, your emotions control you.