Got something suboptimal in your life?

A few years ago I read a great blog post that really resonated. Here's a quote from there about a cancer patient speaking to their doctor.

If you have a bad attitude about your disease, odds are, you won't get better, because you won't do the necessary research on the resources that will make you better. Mindset may not affect the outcome, but it does affect the experience.

Another great quote I heard from Krista Tippett, a badass who won the Peabody Award, is a New York Times best-seller, and received the National Humanities Medal:

Life is a series of challenges and your happiness is determined by how you deal with the challenges.

I think about this concept a lot. Every time I run into something that I'm bad at, my first reaction is "wow I suck, there's no hope, might as well quit" — and then my immediate second reaction is a (theoretical) slap across the face. If you say you suck, then you're always going to suck.

Mantra

Two years ago I set a calendar reminder to repeat every Friday at 11am. It says:

I feel the way I feel because I choose to feel that way.

Every time I get the notification I spend a minute repeating it to myself and really truly internalizing it. It's helped me a lot in life. Because when you're sad, some sick and twisted part of you wants to stay sad. Your sadness feeds on itself and the only way to break out is to realize that you're feeding it.

When you realize you're the one keeping yourself in that state, it becomes a lot easier to leave.

[2021 update: I still have this calendar reminder, still powerful]